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Most entertainingly written news headline of the day, so far
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T-Mu



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 1194

PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 11:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Doctor F wrote:
Nominee for douche* of the week

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/peyton-manning-leaves-generous-tip-server-gets-fired-210105919.html


* Shout out to Tracy M for reminding me of this word.


How could you forget douche?
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kent



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 1:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

T-Mu wrote:
Doctor F wrote:
Nominee for douche* of the week

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/peyton-manning-leaves-generous-tip-server-gets-fired-210105919.html


* Shout out to Tracy M for reminding me of this word.


How could you forget douche?


C'mon David, you douche!
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Running slow40 Hazelnut Butter Rutabagas Bulgur - the new tofu brussels sprouts ART Neti Pot 16 cool.
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Doctor F



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

T-Mu wrote:
Doctor F wrote:
Nominee for douche* of the week

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/peyton-manning-leaves-generous-tip-server-gets-fired-210105919.html


* Shout out to Tracy M for reminding me of this word.


How could you forget douche?

It doesn't come up often in Court, except when I say, "objection, Your Honor, counsel is being a douche."
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GBN



Joined: 27 Jun 2006
Posts: 1932
Location: Lynchburg, Virginia

PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 4:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bishops warn penitents against crucifying themselves.

Having been raised Catholic, I can attest that crucifixion is an ineffective means of suicide. You can never get the last nail in.
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Doctor F



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PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 3:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Any Motorhead fans out there?

http://www.technolog.msnbc.msn.com/technology/technolog/woman-impregnated-motorhead-concert-seeks-father-craigslist-715264
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Doctor F



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PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 10:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://www.therightperspective.org/2012/05/17/merkel-open-to-greek-stimulus/

Too much information.
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kent



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 1:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The headline
Gregg Allman engaged for seventh time
is nothing unusual but I love this line in the article:

Cher probably has shoes older than Allman's finance.
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Doctor F



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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 4:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="kent"]The headline
Gregg Allman engaged for seventh time
is nothing unusual but I love this line in the article:

Cher probably has shoes older than Allman's finance.[/quote
Cher probably has shoes worth more than Allman's finance.
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Doctor F



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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 9:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can't. I simply cannot post the headlines or links concerning this as it is too disturbing.

If you are the curious type, however, you can google the name of the guy in the fake headline I created below. Please note this is not safe for anyone, except Hannibal Lechter.

"Mao Sugiyama invites diners to 'bite me'."
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Snowman



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 10:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Doctor F wrote:
I can't. I simply cannot post the headlines or links concerning this as it is too disturbing.

If you are the curious type, however, you can google the name of the guy in the fake headline I created below. Please note this is not safe for anyone, except Hannibal Lechter.

"Mao Sugiyama invites diners to 'bite me'."


Junk food.
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stihl going



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PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 1:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

They talked about that this am on the radio. Disgusting as hell. But what is worse, what he did or the diners taking part?
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kent



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PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 1:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

O.M.G.!
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2Ls



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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Location: Orlando FL

PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 5:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Snowman wrote:
Doctor F wrote:
I can't. I simply cannot post the headlines or links concerning this as it is too disturbing.

If you are the curious type, however, you can google the name of the guy in the fake headline I created below. Please note this is not safe for anyone, except Hannibal Lechter.

"Mao Sugiyama invites diners to 'bite me'."


Junk food.


Meanwhile, in Miami, the Zombie War has begun...

Miami Face Eating Attack Spurs Feeding Frenzy
http://weblogs.sun-sentinel.com/news/columnists/mayo/blog/2012/05/faceeating_attack_spurs_feedin.html
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Doctor F



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 5:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Snowman wrote:
Doctor F wrote:
I can't. I simply cannot post the headlines or links concerning this as it is too disturbing.

If you are the curious type, however, you can google the name of the guy in the fake headline I created below. Please note this is not safe for anyone, except Hannibal Lechter.

"Mao Sugiyama invites diners to 'bite me'."


Junk food.

One man's junk is another man's coq.
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kent



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 12:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Doctor F wrote:
Snowman wrote:
Doctor F wrote:
I can't. I simply cannot post the headlines or links concerning this as it is too disturbing.

If you are the curious type, however, you can google the name of the guy in the fake headline I created below. Please note this is not safe for anyone, except Hannibal Lechter.

"Mao Sugiyama invites diners to 'bite me'."


Junk food.

One man's junk is another man's coq.


David, click the red button here
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Running slow40 Hazelnut Butter Rutabagas Bulgur - the new tofu brussels sprouts ART Neti Pot 16 cool.
"I was a good kid, but it just seemed that most of the things I did were either stupid or illegal, go figure." - Evil Don
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Doctor F



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PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 9:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oops!


http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/story/2012-06-11/david-cameron-daughter-pub/55521094/1
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GBN



Joined: 27 Jun 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 8:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Crying Game.
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Doctor F



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PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 7:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, they went there. Taint.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/jerry-sandusky-defense-troopers-tainted-investigation/story?id=16601332
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Jimmy Jam



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PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 2:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Twofer Tuesday. Take your pick: Man turns down free surgery for 100 lb. scrotum.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/19/wesley-warren-jr_n_1608910.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

Or, Sex toy confused for mushroom.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/19/sex-toy-confused-for-mushroom_n_1609510.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news
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JimK



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PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 8:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think we should rename this thread to "Fewest clicks to a blacklisted site at work".
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Doctor F



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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 8:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tastes like coq?
Come and get it?

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/health/2012/06/15/cooked-squid-inseminates-womans-mouth/

And the picture of the day...

Elmo likes


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littlewally and farnk



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 4:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Reminds my of the time many, many years ago when a buddy of mine and I had pizza for dinner. Hot pizza. The next night we had shrooms. Well, apparently my buddy had blisters in his mouth from the hot pizza and a shroom lodged itself in one of the broken blisters.
Over the next couple of days my buddy felt "ill" almost constantly. A visit to the doc found the shroom had taken up residence in his mouth causing a almost constant hallucinogenic effect. Doc removed shroom and my friend had no more "illness"
TRUE STORY!!

Doctor F wrote:
Tastes like coq?
Come and get it?

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/health/2012/06/15/cooked-squid-inseminates-womans-mouth/

And the picture of the day...

Elmo likes


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kent



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PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 4:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Farnk, you lead an interesting life. I'm jealous!
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Jimmy Jam



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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2012 6:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The headline is a bit misleading. The gist of Gatlin's statement is: "If they want to go out there after the 200 and run one more race and put on a great show for America, I'm down for it," Gatlin told ESPN on Monday. "Or a good old-fashioned mud wrestling,"

But a coin flip?? Really??

I hope not.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/26/allyson-felix-jeneba-tarmoh-justin-gatlin-mud-wrestling_n_1627109.html?utm_hp_ref=sports
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Jimmy Jam



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 1:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/02/buxom-bandit-robs-gas-station_n_1642874.html

Rookies? I disagree. That looks like a veteran pair to me.

And in the tell-me-something-I don't already-know category:

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/anderson-cooper-gay-comes-154527163--finance.html
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T-Mu



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 5:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jimmy Jam wrote:
And in the tell-me-something-I don't already-know category:

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/anderson-cooper-gay-comes-154527163--finance.html


As my little brother said when I talked to him this afternoon, "this also just in: Bill Cosby is black."
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Snowman



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 9:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Child found home alone with insects, access to porn.

Brings new meaning to "buggery."
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Snowman



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 8:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

World's Heaviest Woman Loses 98 Pounds With Marathon Sex

Two quotes:

“I can’t move much in bed, but I burn 500 calories a session –- it’s great exercise just jiggling around," Potter told Closer.

Alex, who weighs just 140 pounds, does most of the work in the bedroom.
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- drunk Larry King (link below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KRUje1UQJs
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Jimmy Jam



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 11:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Snowman wrote:
World's Heaviest Woman Loses 98 Pounds With Marathon Sex

Two quotes:

“I can’t move much in bed, but I burn 500 calories a session –- it’s great exercise just jiggling around," Potter told Closer.

Alex, who weighs just 140 pounds, does most of the work in the bedroom.


And another quote: The two have sex up to seven times each day.

So, if my math is correct 7 into 98 (pun intended) = 14, meaning if the average person wanted to lose 14 lbs, a mere one session a day should work.

I'm willing to give it try. Thanks, Dave!
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Jimmy Jam



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 6:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So...by my math he should weigh about... a negative million lbs by now.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/11/mick-jagger-sex-life-4000-women_n_1666176.html
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Snowman



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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 9:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

They got suspicious when he said he couldn't stand inside the scanner and face the wall.
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kent



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PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2012 9:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Breaking: Bob Denver, still dead
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Running slow40 Hazelnut Butter Rutabagas Bulgur - the new tofu brussels sprouts ART Neti Pot 16 cool.
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Doctor F



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PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 5:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

kent wrote:
Breaking: Bob Denver, still dead


In related news, so is his brother, John.
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Doctor F



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PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 4:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2012/09/court-to-decide-if-lap-dancing-is-a-tax-exempt-art-form-/1?csp=34news

Duh. Of course it is.
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kent



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 4:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ben & Jerry's Sues Over X-Rated Ben & Cherry's

The lawsuit by the Vermont-based company said the films would likely cause "confusion, mistake or deception" regarding the company's trademarks. It identified some of the X-rated names similar to its own as "Boston Cream Thigh," ''New York Fat & Chunky" and "Peanut Butter D-Cup."

I'm always confusing ice cream and hard core pornography.
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Running slow40 Hazelnut Butter Rutabagas Bulgur - the new tofu brussels sprouts ART Neti Pot 16 cool.
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Snowman



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 8:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kent wrote:
"Boston Cream Thigh," ''New York Fat & Chunky" and "Peanut Butter D-Cup."


Is there really a population out that for whom those flavor names are appetizing?

So far...no comment from B&J (er, I mean Ben & Jerry) on:


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- drunk Larry King (link below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KRUje1UQJs
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Doctor F



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 8:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

To think of what they could do with

Coffee, Coffee, Buzz, Buzz, Buzz
Banana Split
Mud Pie
or the new Greek yogurt flavors

What a shame they changed the name of Clusterfluff to What a Cluster

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Doctor F



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PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 5:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Illinois Federal Court: College Fraternity House Does Not Constitute a Monastery

Visions of the Revs. Bluto, Otter and Hoover dancing through my head.


http://www.rluipa-defense.com/
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Doctor F



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 9:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Some of you may find this one hard to swallow.

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/oral-sex-a-cure-morning-sickness-psychologist-dad-sperm-nauseated-pregnant-moms-article-1.1133829
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Jimmy Jam



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PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 5:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Speaking of hard to swallow...

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/fl-deerfield-roach-eating-death-20121008,0,5588984.story

I love the line: ""They're all captive bred bugs. They're bred in sterile conditions," said Ben Siegel, owner of the store at 3314 W. Hillsboro Blvd. "They're not bugs we go catch. They're bred for exotic pet feed and they're completely safe."
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kent



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PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 1:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Resistance was futile, in the end I just had to look.

Softball-sized eyeball washes up on Florida beach (pic)
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Running slow40 Hazelnut Butter Rutabagas Bulgur - the new tofu brussels sprouts ART Neti Pot 16 cool.
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Len



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PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 6:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kid Rock and Sean Penn....ummm....yeah.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/11/kid-rock-sean-penn-psa-video_n_1959580.html?utm_hp_ref=entertainment
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Doctor F



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PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 8:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Some of our wives may beg to differ.

http://www.foxnews.com/science/2012/10/05/humans-broke-off-neanderthal-sex/?intcmp=obinsite
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JonD



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PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 4:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

From the Guardian:

"Nazi buddha from space might be fake"

Say what!?!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2012/oct/24/nazi-buddha-statue-space-fake
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Jimmy Jam



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PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 5:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

About time.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/31/coffee-debenhams-plain-english_n_2050363.html

"Congratulations, you're stupid in three languages" Great line from Paul Rudd. Reminds me of the Jack Nicholson "toast scene" in Five Easy Pieces. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wtfNE4z6a8
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Doctor F



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PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 2:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Like there is any acting in porn.


http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5h2KlOUym6qjGO5hM8x-Fzy483Few?docId=37b8cfad8e354498b5c599ecc36fa4c3
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Doctor F



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PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 7:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Field research?

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/12/03/son-sex-researcher-dr-william-h-masters-pleads-guilty-to-masturbating-in/?intcmp=obnetwork
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Snowman



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PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 11:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Doctor F wrote:
Field research?

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/12/03/son-sex-researcher-dr-william-h-masters-pleads-guilty-to-masturbating-in/?intcmp=obnetwork


Felt research, it would appear.
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kent



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
Posts: 4530
Location: The wrong end of a leash

PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 12:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Inspired by Ian's FB picture from the other day, big happenings on the peninsula:

http://www.mercurynews.com/year-in-review/ci_22208744/best-police-blotter-2012

My favorite:
A concerned person called to report a situation involving her mother: A cable company employee made a sales call at the mother's house, then returned the next day and has been living with her since.
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-k e n t

Running slow40 Hazelnut Butter Rutabagas Bulgur - the new tofu brussels sprouts ART Neti Pot 16 cool.
"I was a good kid, but it just seemed that most of the things I did were either stupid or illegal, go figure." - Evil Don
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GregC



Joined: 13 Jul 2005
Posts: 3601

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2012 9:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/suzy-favor-hamilton-136952

Wowza...
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New and mediocre as ever:
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