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Most entertainingly written news headline of the day, so far
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Ed



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
Posts: 2429
Location: The Republic

PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 6:58 pm    Post subject: Most entertainingly written news headline of the day, so far Reply with quote

"Senator Craig loses appeal in men's room sex sting case."
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drbri



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 7:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Tomorrow declared 'Day Without a Gay'"
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cpg



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
Posts: 4868
Location: Earth

PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 7:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here's what I wonder: Are politicians predisposed toward screwed-up sex-fetish-y, creepy-fringe stuff or do perverts just make good politicians?

Which came first...Did power turn them perv or do pervs gravitate toward power?
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www.whatwouldlizziebennetdo.com
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drbri



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 7:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Army dad shocks girl on Santa's lap"
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richfscott



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 5390

PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 12:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Assman retained as county engineer"

Go Iowa!

http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=20215327&BRD=2703&PAG=461&dept_id=555123&rfi=6
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Bob



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 2:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

FOX Broadcasts Some Viking Locker Room Dong

http://deadspin.com/5103817/fox-broadcasts-some-viking-locker-room-dong
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G$ discussing Dave-O. 3/5/08
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Darth Vader



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 3868

PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 3:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

cpg wrote:
Here's what I wonder: Are politicians predisposed toward screwed-up sex-fetish-y, creepy-fringe stuff or do perverts just make good politicians?


I'd like to take this opportunity to announce that I am officially launching my campaign for president.
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cpg



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 3:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Oprah Feels Like "Fat Cow" at 200 Lbs."

(per CNN.com, but this is "news" on several news sites)

In other news, "Duh, Oprah"
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Doctor F



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
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Location: The Empire State

PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 9:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

cpg wrote:
"Oprah Feels Like "Fat Cow" at 200 Lbs."

(per CNN.com, but this is "news" on several news sites)

In other news, "Duh, Oprah"


And as elegantly put on the TMZ site:

"Oprah Can't Drop The Deuce"

http://switch.sandbox.tmz.com/2008/12/09/oprah-can-t-drop-the-deuce/
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drbri



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 3:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Blow to Chicago"
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Snowman



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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Location: The Great Sout' Side of Chicago

PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 4:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Child's Remains Found by a Utility Worker in a Plastic Bag"

OK, I'll bite...was he trying to keep dry? commit suicide? travel incognito as dry cleaning?
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Doctor F



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 5:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Mets get Putz in huge deal."

And here I thought Roger Clemens was going to stay retired.
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Snowman



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 3:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"PTA Official Caught Half-Naked With 13-Year-Old Boy"

Well, I suppose at least we know now where CK has been.
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Life is a breeze...of course some breezes fly up to 120 miles per hour, and get called hurricanes.
- drunk Larry King (link below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KRUje1UQJs
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Bob



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 6:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What a way to go.
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Snowman



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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Location: The Great Sout' Side of Chicago

PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 7:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bob wrote:
What a way to go.


Drowned in bullshit. I call that...Monday.
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Life is a breeze...of course some breezes fly up to 120 miles per hour, and get called hurricanes.
- drunk Larry King (link below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KRUje1UQJs
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drbri



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 1:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Dozens get ill at health department party"
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Doctor F



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 9579
Location: The Empire State

PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 3:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

See what happens when you start a monster-sized thread about our governor?

"Alaska pulls plug on Snowzilla the snowman"

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28358077/?gt1=43001
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Judy Denver



Joined: 03 Jan 2006
Posts: 4123
Location: Mile High City

PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 5:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Doctor F wrote:
See what happens when you start a monster-sized thread about our governor?

"Alaska pulls plug on Snowzilla the snowman"

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28358077/?gt1=43001


That's just wrong. I think I'll go start construction on an Aspen Snowzilla to vindicate the poor folks who lost theirs. God knows there is enough snow here. And it keeps falling. And falling. And falling. The only problem here is that Snowzilla would probably get buried under - you guessed it - more snow.
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64 Marathons, 2 Ultras
50 States, 1 Province, 2 Countries, 1 Continent
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JonD



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
Posts: 4252
Location: Don't ask...I'm lost

PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 5:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ya know, I USED to think that Alaskans were a hardy, wise breed who chose to live where they live due to their love of Nature, purity and pioneer values.

Palin and her fellow citizens have left me scratching my head. Meth capital? Church burning? Cronyism? Helicopter hunting? Gorging from an oil trough? Kinda makes the lot of them look a bit hypocritical, no?

Now this!

Alaskans think snowmen are unsafe!!!
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Snowman



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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Location: The Great Sout' Side of Chicago

PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 12:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tie:

Carla Bruni: I'm no longer a man-eater

or

Probe into Beverly Hills cosmetic surgeon 'who turned human fat from liposuctions into biodiesel for his 4x4'
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Life is a breeze...of course some breezes fly up to 120 miles per hour, and get called hurricanes.
- drunk Larry King (link below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KRUje1UQJs
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Melissa



Joined: 29 Jul 2005
Posts: 1781
Location: Tampa, Florida

PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 2:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The headline, per se, isn't so entertaining as much as the amazement of what in the world are these people thinking????

"Duggar Family Welcomes 18th Child"
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Snowman



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 3:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Melissa wrote:
what in the world are these people thinking????

"Duggar Family Welcomes 18th Child"


Gotta do something to get your Discovery series renewed...
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Life is a breeze...of course some breezes fly up to 120 miles per hour, and get called hurricanes.
- drunk Larry King (link below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KRUje1UQJs
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drbri



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
Posts: 4716

PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 3:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

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richfscott



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 6:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That picture always slays me! I wish there was a site that had all the twisted motivational posters in one place. Bob, go find it for me. Please! It would be the bestest Christmas ever!
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Snowman



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 7:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

richfscott wrote:
That picture always slays me! I wish there was a site that had all the twisted motivational posters in one place. Bob, go find it for me. Please! It would be the bestest Christmas ever!



www.despair.com has many...not the one above, I suspect.
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Life is a breeze...of course some breezes fly up to 120 miles per hour, and get called hurricanes.
- drunk Larry King (link below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KRUje1UQJs
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drbri



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
Posts: 4716

PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 7:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here's a little somethin' for you, buddy. Happy holidays!

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GBN



Joined: 27 Jun 2006
Posts: 1932
Location: Lynchburg, Virginia

PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 11:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Doctor F wrote:
See what happens when you start a monster-sized thread about our governor?

"Alaska pulls plug on Snowzilla the snowman"

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28358077/?gt1=43001


Banned Snowzilla returns despite cease and desist order.

Not unlike a certain 29-page thread.
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drbri



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 4:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"'Jealous wife' charged in fatal genitals fire"
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Doctor F



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 5:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Gamecocks fall hard at Classic"
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Doctor F



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 9579
Location: The Empire State

PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 8:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, so it is not a headline, but these quotes from the mess that is Illinois politics are certainly entertaining.


“They took the governor at his lawyer’s word that he would not do this,” says Christopher Mooney, a political scientist at the University of Illinois in Champaign. “You have a guy who is completely running amok, and they handed him a live hand grenade,” he adds.
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drbri



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

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pezjaz



Joined: 29 Jun 2005
Posts: 877
Location: Central IL

PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 7:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Death Row Inmate Eats His Last Good Eye"
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Snowman



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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Location: The Great Sout' Side of Chicago

PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 7:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

pezjaz wrote:
"Death Row Inmate Eats His Last Good Eye"


I actually read the article for this one. Suggest a long long gap on either side between reading this and eating. There are some seriously Phuket up (thanks, 7) people in this world.
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Snowman



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 7:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

14-year-old boy impersonates cop, police say
Teen goes on traffic patrol wearing real police uniform, but is unarmed, authorities say

He had 'em fooled until they found out his pot belly was a pillow.
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drbri



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 2:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Donating a kidney through your vagina or rectum"
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drbri



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Obama's Press Conference Answers Three Formal Grade-Levels Higher Than Bush's First"
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Trent



Joined: 03 May 2006
Posts: 5743
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 3:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Perhaps not entertaining, but, er, ironic:

"The founder of an Islamic television station in upstate New York aimed at countering Muslim stereotypes has confessed to beheading his wife"
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dNels



Joined: 27 Jun 2005
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Location: On Earth... England... London... Islington!

PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 11:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Sorry For Being Such Bankers..."
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Where the fuck did everybody go?!?!?!
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Snowman



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 3:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote



And you say the old woman was raising ten of you in here before the shoe company foreclosed?
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Life is a breeze...of course some breezes fly up to 120 miles per hour, and get called hurricanes.
- drunk Larry King (link below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KRUje1UQJs
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dNels



Joined: 27 Jun 2005
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Location: On Earth... England... London... Islington!

PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 10:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Baby Weds Dog to Fend Off "Tiger Tooth" Jinx
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drbri



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 6:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"St. Louis keeps No. 1 for two STDs"
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Snowman



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 9:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bikinis Make Men See Women as Objects, Scans Confirm

The key paragraphs:

Brain scans revealed that when men are shown pictures of scantily clad women, the region of the brain associated with tool use lights up.

Men were also more likely to associate images of sexualized women with first-person action verbs such as "I push, I grasp, I handle," said lead researcher Susan Fiske, a psychologist at Princeton University.

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Life is a breeze...of course some breezes fly up to 120 miles per hour, and get called hurricanes.
- drunk Larry King (link below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KRUje1UQJs
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Doctor F



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 6:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Snowman wrote:
Bikinis Make Men See Women as Objects, Scans Confirm

The key paragraphs:

[i]Brain scans revealed that when men are shown pictures of scantily clad women, the region of the brain associated with tool use lights up.



Heh, heh, heh, he said "tool use."
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drbri



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 9:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Nurses took photos of stuck sex toy"
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dNels



Joined: 27 Jun 2005
Posts: 280
Location: On Earth... England... London... Islington!

PostPosted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Woman Traded Kids For Bird"

http://edition.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/02/27/kids.for.bird/index.html
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Lyra



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 4:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Snowman wrote:
"Child's Remains Found by a Utility Worker in a Plastic Bag"

OK, I'll bite...was he trying to keep dry? commit suicide? travel incognito as dry cleaning?


Great article by David Foster Wallace on Usage
http://harpers.org/archive/2008/09/hbc-90003557
Then click the link for
"Tense Present: Democracy, English, and the wars over usage"
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Nels



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 5:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, I know a woman named Lyra. What a coincidence.
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dNels



Joined: 27 Jun 2005
Posts: 280
Location: On Earth... England... London... Islington!

PostPosted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 1:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Man beats up 'kangaroo Jackie Chan' in house


http://edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/03/09/kangaroo.australia.wrestles/index.html
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Doctor F



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 2:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, this isn't funny, but is kind of bizarre.

"Martha Stewart's puppy killed in Pa. kennel blast"
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kent



Joined: 23 Jun 2005
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Location: The wrong end of a leash

PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 1:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Pet store expects fish shipment, but gets corpse"

Apparently the delay caused by the mix-up with the corpse caused the fish to die as well. Tragedy abounds.
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-k e n t

Running slow40 Hazelnut Butter Rutabagas Bulgur - the new tofu brussels sprouts ART Neti Pot 16 cool.
"I was a good kid, but it just seemed that most of the things I did were either stupid or illegal, go figure." - Evil Don
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